A day in the life of Eric Mangini, via Twitter updates:
8:05 a.m.: Wake up. Toss Jets jammies in hamper.
8:25 a.m.: Breakfast. Bacon, eggs, cheese, Baconaise, Baconator, mayo, Yoo-Hoo.
9:02 a.m.: Offer rum and cigars to Bill Parcells' Jobu shrine.
9:34 a.m.: Price Is Right.
10 a.m.: Order mural repainted.
10:05 a.m.: Order mural re-repainted.
10:31 a.m.: Make George come watch my Motorola commercials on YouTube.
10:47 a.m.: Check Facebook. Ignore friend request from Shaun Rogers. Do "Which TV Character Are You" app. Peter Griffin?!?!
11:10 a.m.: Watching Film. Not Browns. Game 5 of the 1956 World Series.
12:10 a.m.: Lunchtime. 5 for 5 at Arby's. Jackpot!
1:15 p.m.: More Facebook. Send third friend request to Bill B. Why does he keep turning me down?
1:35 p.m.: Watching Film. Roy Scheider in "All That Jazz." Weird.
2:17 p.m.: Wikipedia to find out what the Spanish Inquisition used on reporters.
2:58 p.m.: Change Wiki entry on Spygate. Hehe!
3:04 p.m.: Order press room carpet replaced with gravel.
3: 20 p.m.: Learn to break dance. Ha! Just kidding. Gnaw on block of cheese. Muenster!
4 p.m.: Set Tivo to record "One Tree Hill" rerun. Prank call Pluto.
4:11 p.m.: Checking staff e-mail in secretive Orwellian manner.
4:47 p.m.: Comb waiver wire for washed-up special teams players.
5:11 p.m.: Heard Rogers is at Rini-Rego in North Olmstead. Gonna cruise by then go to Fazio's. Ha!
5:13 p.m.: Garmon can't find any Fazio's. Hmm.
5:52 p.m.: Scroll OBR forums for trade and draft ideas. Braylon for a game-worn Fair Hooker jersey and a second-round pick in the 1983 draft?
6:10 p.m.: E-mail Lerner to remind him we're just a player or two away. Jammies! Sucker.
7: 15 p.m.: Order mural re-re-repainted.
8:23 p.m.: Just not getting this whole "The Onion" thing. Will have it blocked at Berea.
9:19 p.m.: Bed time with sleeveless Belichick sweatshirt to cuddle.
Bill Shea is the OBR's Detroit Bureau chief and has far too much time on his hands.
If you want to follow a real Twitter stream, courtesy of the OBR, click here.