Derry: Just Wondering...

OBR columnist Frank Derry had many deep questions to ponder as the Browns wandered about the field in Philly on Monday night...

Just wondering, while watching the Browns get blown out 30-10 by the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday Night Football:

• If a team ever won two games on MNF one season and didn’t get invited to play a prime time game the next year? The Browns look to be headed down that road.
• If Braylon Edwards played every game on Monday night, would he be a sure-bet Hall of Famer? His best three games this year, all for more than 100 yards, have come on MNF.
• If Braylon can be that good with the bright lights on, why can’t he do it at 1 p.m. on Sunday afternoons?
• If the safest place to be during a tornado is the Browns’ end zone because there’s never a touch down there?
• If Romeo Crennel ever considered quitting, ala Butch Davis? (The answer is definitely no because Romeo, unlike Davis, has far too much class.)
• If anyone on Romeo’s staff will be retained next season? Offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski’s chances are fading more every quarter the offense doesn’t score a touchdown?
• If Dante Stallworth is the worst free agency signing in the history of the Cleveland Browns? (I think Andre Rison might give him a run for his money).
• If Harry Holt is available now that the Browns appear to have lost Steve Heiden for the season? Kellen Winslow, Jr. is likely out for the rest of the season and rookie Martin Rucker apparently hasn’t learned enough to risk playing at that spot in this crucial stretch run.
• If you know the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill?
• If Jamal Lewis has lost a step, or if it’s the fault of the offensive line that he now looks like he’s over the hill?
• If Willie McGinnest ever wonders why he decided to play another season?
• If Ken Dorsey wonders what he did to have to start against the rugged Eagles defense?
• If Joshua Cribbs could possibly be as inept at quarterback as Dorsey?
• If you wanted to keep a Browns player out of your yard, how would you do it? Erect a goal post.
• If Joe Thomas’s Pro Bowl rookie season was a fluke, or if 2008 is a bump on the road to his Hall of Fame career?
• If Shaun Rogers would win a high jump contest for anyone 350 pounds or larger? Rogers has knocked down several passes this year thanks to his incredible leaping ability.
• If Phil Dawson, who should be selected for the Pro Bowl, is the only beneficiary of the team’s inability to score an offensive touchdown?
• If Brandon McDonald really needed to do a flip into the end zone with his team down 30-3 in the fourth quarter?
• If there is a similarity between the 2008 Browns and a possum? Yes! Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
• If Andra Davis will get an opportunity with another NFL team next season?
• If a team with as many holes as the Browns could possibly afford to keep both Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson?
• If either Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer could win with the talent currently on the roster?
• If this season will ever end?