---How much longer are fans going to be forced to watch this stuff on the
field that’s being passed off as football? Better yet, how much longer are
fans going to allow themselves to be forced to watch? Judging by the
inordinate number of neighbors deciding to do yard work yesterday instead of
watching their beloved Browns, the answer seems to be the Jerry Glanville
definition of the NFL: “not for long”. Slowly but surely, the anger is
turning to apathy. THAT should scare the living hell out of everyone from
Randy Lerner on down to the lowliest of regional scouts.
---This team has no identity, no singular thing that it does well. They
are the dictatees, instead of the dictators, on both sides of the ball.
They are the hen-pecked husband, not only allowing the wife to wear the pants
but the entire suit. They sit at home with the kids slaving over a hot
stove while the better half is out smoking cigars and getting lap dances.
---As I watched this game, one thought kept running through my head: “thank
goodness for the soothing power of beer.” That, and “this team could be
epically and historically bad.”
---Ralph Brown needs to be gone. Not tomorrow, not even right
now. He needs to be gone the day before yesterday. He is to
cornerbacks what France
is to national defense.
---The Browns start the season 0-2—in embarrassing fashion—and get the
pleasure of facing the smothering, stifling defense of the red-hot 2-0 Ravens at
home. Cool. Think things could get ugly out there on the Cleveland Browns Stadium turf? What about in the stands? In the Muni Lot?
---If there is one player on offense who should never, ever be taken off the
field, it’s Kellen Winslow. Yet, on at least four occasions by my
first-view recollection, the tight end was on the sidelines when the Browns went
to the three-wide, two-back set. The question is: Why? Why was
Josh Cribbs the third WR, when he’s still learning the position and there
has been a copious amount of discussion regarding the splitting out of Winslow
in certain situations. Why isn’t third down one of those certain
situations?
---Speaking of Winslow and the asinine third-down substitution pattern,
anybody catch him seemingly getting lippy with Romeo Crennel during one
of those situations? If this season continues down the road that it seems
to be headed on, they are going to, at some point, run smack into the flow
created by an erupting Mount St. Winslow. You can already see it
smoldering just above the ice caps and through the wisps of clouds. It’s
only a matter of time before the top blows off.
---When the Browns ran Reuben Droughns on the first five plays of the
game, did you get the feeling that Maurice Carthon was giving the finger
to both Phil Savage and Romeo Crennel for their comments earlier
in the week about abandoning the running game too soon?
---Mr. Carthon, Sister Prejean called and had this message for you: “Look at
you, Maurice. Death is looking down your neck, and you’re playing you’re
little male come-on games.”
---Way to go for the throat following the turnover inside the Bengals’
15-yard line. You seemed more than willing to lop off your head to spite
not only your nose but the rest of your body as well.
---That could also be construed as playing not to lose instead of playing to
win. You have to grow a football pair at some point. Stop
coordinating like a eunuch.
---That being said, somebody call Susan Sarandon ‘cause we have us a
dead man coaching.
---Attention Romeo and Maurice: “The Ghost” nickname for rookie running back
Jerome Harrison is figurative and is not meant to be taken literally.
One of the few bright spots of a miserable pre-season has been turned into
nothing more than a living, breathing apparition. My head and neck area
literally hurts from shaking it so much at some of the game-day decisions made
by this coaching staff.
---And, no, Harrison is not the answer to
the offensive woes. He could, though, be part of the equation that
eventually leads to the solution. He’s been described as a
“change-of-pace” back by Crennel. If there is an offense that’s in dire
need of a change of pace, change of direction, change of anything, it’s this
one.
---That was a great hit Brian Russell put on Chad Johnson late
in the fourth quarter trailing 34-10. It was really cool playing make
believe that the receiver’s Mohawked dome rolling across the field actually
mattered. The question is: where was that aggressiveness in the first
quarter, when the Bengals were rolling you over like a young piece of fresh
“Prison Break” meat?
---Screw Holyfield, Leigh Bodden is the real deal. He’s one of
the few bright spots in an otherwise dismal start to the 2006 season. When
he was manned up on Johnson, the corner virtually shut the Pro Bowl receiver
down. It’s just a shame that he’s stuck in the vortex of a perpetual suck
cyclone.
---Kudos to the offensive line for bouncing back from a shaky first game and
providing Charlie Frye with ample time to be indecisive. That extra time
also allowed Frye to hit open receivers when he could actually spot them only to
see the ball clang off their mitts. So, big ups to the offensive line.
---I’m not going to make excuses for Gary Baxter. Yes, he got
lit up by felon-in-training Chris Henry for the better part of the
afternoon yesterday. But, he’s not close to being 100% recovered from the
strained pectoral muscle he suffered in the first pre-season game. That’s
no excuse, it’s simply a fact.
---By the way, did you read the above, Daylon? He’s playing hurt.
What a concept.
---I could’ve sworn that, in a 3-4 defense, there were two inside linebackers
on the field on most occasions. I must be mistaken, because there
certainly weren’t any on the field when the Browns were on defense. Time
to get out the “Football For Dummies” handbook again and brush up on my
defensive schemes, I guess.
---Yes, the Browns had four sacks after being sackless Thin the
season-opener, but it seemed like, on too many occasions, Carson Palmer
had time to not only continue rehabbing his knee but also take up the pedestrian
hobby of crocheting. And that was with two starters on the Bengals’
offensive line being out for most of the game due to injury and a third moved
from his natural guard position over to left tackle. This team needs to
find a way to put consistent pressure on the QB to avoid further exposure of the
suspect cornerback position.
---Just thinking out loud here, but when will at least a portion of the hot
light of scrutiny currently shining—deservedly so—on Carthon cast at least a
shadow on WR coach Terry Robiskie? Dropped passes by seemingly
talented receivers has plagued this organization since their return in 1999.
This is Robiskie’s sixth season on the staff, and he’s entering his fifth season
as the WR coach. Year after year, more balls drop than in a seventh-grade
all-boys school home-room class. And it’s not like Robiskie has a plate
full of Frisman’s and Rideau’s to coach up, either. He’s had a plethora of
current or former first-day draft picks at the table, so the God-given talent is
there at his disposal. And yet, the results don’t change.
---What’s the date of next April’s draft again? Time to start working
on the value chart.