The Cleveland Browns would like us all to believe that they are this close to hiring the next Vince Lombardi, when it actually appears that no one wants to drive their clown car.
How bad is it? James Franklin decided it was more prestigious to go to Jerry Sandusky University than it would be to even think about coaching your favorite NFL team.
And don't forget the day that Nick Saban, Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and Bob Stoops walked into a bar, and laughed for hours.
Even Josh McDaniels – the guy who discovered Tim Tebow – said no.
The experience of cheering for the Cleveland Browns is akin to being flushed into a swirling cesspool that just goes lower and lower. It is quite a crappy experience.
But the executive team that will never – even if they improbably win the Super Bowl – escape the moniker “The Three Stooges” would like us all to believe that they are the smartest guys in the room. They even think that they appear to be great guys to work for.
We are to supposed to believe that, if they wanted, Bill Belichick would be intrigued by the idea of coming back to Cleveland to work for them. You know, just like Lebron wants to work for Dan Gilbert any time soon. There is nothing in life like a great boss, right?
So after George Halas and Bear Bryant expressed interest, according to sources close to The Three Stooges, we are left with names like Adam Gase, Ben McAdoo, Dan Quinn and Todd Bowles. These are household names in each of their own households.
I am convinced that one of these guys, who I had barely heard of a month ago, is going to turn out be a great NFL head coach. The Browns will most likely not hire that guy.
No. The Browns are smarter than everyone. And that's really what we fans love most about these guys. Their sheer genius has proven to be admirably audacious.
That's why I think I can see where this is logically going.
It's time for these three particular stooges to boink themselves in the eyeballs and say, “Soitenly!”
In fact, ever since Rob Chudzinzki was fired it has become apparent that there is one obvious best candidate to fill the coaching vacancy caused when the Browns braintrust admitted that they made a mistake in hiring Rob Chudzinski.
Rob Chudzinksi should replace Rob Chudzinksi.
The Browns should admit they made a mistake in firing Rob Chudzinski. Really, would it surprise you?
At this point, don't you sort of expect the Cleveland Browns to just negotiate a new contract with their former coach, doubling his pay. The logical step of admitting they made a mistake when they admitted they made a mistake would be brilliantly confusing.
Then, with Chudzinski on the sidelines, they could trade their number 4 pick to Indianapolis for Trent Richardson, because they really need a running back. I think Mike Lombardi, Joe Banner and Jimmy Haslam have been working on this all season.
Knowing all of this, aren't you excited about what they have planned at quarterback?
Brian Tarcy is the founder of Whatzgonnahappen.com and the co-founder of CapeCodWave.com