Senior Bowl Recap: Adventures in Mobile

Every year, the Senior Bowl provides incredible stories. This year was no different, starting with host state Alabama introducing its new slogan, "1st in Football, 50th in Everything Else." We recap some of this year's top stories while interjecting some sarcasm and exaggerations, which should help get that Mobile taste out of your mouth.

Hot Dogs for Hire

Just one year ago, Kansas City Chiefs then-defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel spent significant time chatting it up with fans and doing his best David Copperfield impersonation as he made hot dogs disappear at the Sirius Football Heads camper. Somehow the Sultan of the Sausage segued his hunger for pork to a head coaching job in Kansas City (injuries to stars Jamaal Charles, Matt Cassel and Eric Berry sabotaged former head coach Todd Haley like Crennel would a Nathan's).

Due to our investigative reporting last year, ambitious Carolina Panthers scouts took notice and tried to devour their way to the top like Romeo. The aforementioned scouts asked us between bites to keep their names private.

We're not exactly sure how the formula works, but it goes something like this:

1) Come to Mobile
2) Eat as many hot dogs as possible
3) ????
4) Get another head coaching job

Ron Rivera, you've been forewarned.

A Can't-Do Attitude

Coach Mike Singletary
Adam Bettcher/Getty

We love the North LBs, especially Bobby Wagner and Lavonte David. When we asked Minnesota Vikings linebackers coach Mike Singletary about the group he spent all week working with, however, we learned our feelings were without merit.

"Cannot play with them! Cannot win with them! Cannot coach with them! Can't do it!" he screamed.

We asked Coach Singletary if perhaps he was being too harsh. After all, he once said you can't win with players like Vernon Davis, who went on to carry the San Francisco 49ers to the NFC Championship as soon as Singletary left town.

Coach's response? He dropped his pants and left.

A Hearty Handshake

David's teammate, FS Alfonzo Dennard, was knocked out of action with a hip injury. No official word on how the injury occurred, but sources say it happened during Dennard's meeting with the Detroit Lions. He apparently went to shake the hand of coach Jim Schwartz, who misconstrued Dennard's gesture as an act of aggression before hip-checking him to the ground and chasing him out of the interview room.

Dennard is expected to meet next week with Tim Tebow for a laying of the hands.

Holy Mediocrity, Batman!

QB Tim Tebow
Jim Rogash/Getty

Former Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio was in town looking for either work or his 349th leather jacket. His search for both ended when he was recently named the defensive coordinator of the Denver Broncos.

We asked Del Rio why he opted for the Broncos job.

"It's all about Tebow," he said. "I'll tell you what, that kid is something special. You just shake his hand and you get an instant craving for unleavened bread. It's like a scene from Evan Almighty."

By combining the erratic Tebow with the consistently mediocre Del Rio, John Elway has laid the foundation for a team that can win as many as eight games per season for the next one to two years. It should be a magical ride.

More Quarterback Quandaries

This year's Senior Bowl quarterback class might not have multiple first-round selections or four players selected in the top 36 selections like last year, but there are some interesting characters.

Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore was forced to carry around his Senior Bowl identification everywhere he went as he was denied entry at every checkpoint due to his childlike features. Moore was unable to immediately weigh in as the Senior Bowl committee forgot to take down the measuring stick stating, "You have to be this tall to ride," from last week's Nickelodeon Carnival. Moore found it especially frustrating when he was not allowed to immediately purchase lottery tickets without ID (legal gambling age in Alabama is 12), as the only way he is going to see an NFL field is if he wins Powerball and purchases the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

As for the other signal callers, N.C. State Wolfpack turned Colorado Rockies turned Wisconsin Badgers quarterback Russell Wilson was upset after the second day that the NCAA wouldn't allow him to transfer to the Players All-Star Classic in Little Rock. Rumor has it Wilson requested the transfer as he struggled seeing over the tackling sleds in Mobile, even with lifts in his shoes. There's no truth to the rumor that the Colorado Rockies moved on as they feel they can better resurrect the career of Drew Henson rather than Wilson.

South team quarterbacks Ryan Lindley and Nick Foles got into a bit of hot water in Mobile as they managed to bloody the noses of the Mobile Mayor Sam Jones and former Houston Oilers head coach Jerry Glanville, respectively. More disturbing, the quarterbacks performed such heinous acts while simply trying to throw out-routes while these two fine gentlemen were sitting 32 rows off the field.

As Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan looked at the QB talent on display, he decided to call owner Dan Snyder and immediately offer both Rex Grossman and John Beck multi-year contract extensions.

Shanahan told all four QBs that if they continue their erratic throwing the best thing they can hope for is to be a starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos.

Although the signal callers didn't improve their draft stock, both Moore and Wilson were consoled by sitting on Oklahoma State quarterback Brandon Weeden's knee while Weeden recollected a similar all-star game experience when his original graduating class included all-time greats Johnny Unitas and George Blanda.

Charlie Bernstein is the NFL Insider for ESPNFlorida.com and ESPN 1080 and 1040 in Orlando/Tampa and Editor-in-Chief of Sports Media Interactive, covering multiple teams in the National Football League, NCAA, and National Basketball Association. Charlie covers the Jacksonville Jaguars for Fox Sports and has been featured on the NFL Network and Sirius NFL Radio. Charlie is also a member of the Pro Football Writers of America. You can follow Charlie on twitter.

Michael Lombardo is a long-time contributor to the Scout.com network. His analysis has been published by the NFL Network, Fox Sports and MySpace Sports. He has followed the Chargers for more than 16 years and covered the team since 2003. You can see more of his updates by following him on twitter.